Yo, we ain't afraid of Brooklyn! It's just Spot Conlins makes us a little noivice.

Well he don't make me noivice.

(He really doesn't. I had SUCH a huge crush on him when I was little. And when I was a teenager. And now.

I mean, honestly, who didn't? When he takes his hat off? And flips his hair? Beautiful).

Anyways. This is not actually a Newsies post. This is a post about Brooklyn (I spent a month there one night. Ok, seriously stopping with the Newsies quotes now).

And why you should all be very proud of me.

I don't know if many of you know this, but I have a horrible sense of direction.

I get turned around really easily.

(Don't ever ask me to be navigator. It probably won't end up well)

Kathleen likes to tell a story about my first time driving.

I didn't know how to get to the church. That I had been going to since I was 10 months old.

I asked which way I went as soon as we exited the drive way.

(I don't pay attention if I'm not driving, ok?)

SO, when I'm going to a new place, I usually like to have detailed information of how to get there.

Yesterday, when I was going to Brooklyn for the first time, I Google Maps'd the directions of how to get to where I was going. Because Google Maps is the best, true dat, double true.

Well, that's usually the consensus. Yesterday, however, Google Maps failed me.

It told me to take the F train from Union Square, transfer to the A train, then get off at High St. and walk to Grimaldes.

That sounded great to me. Until I got to Union Square station. Guess which train doesn't stop there? Yeah, you got it. The F.

So, I looked very touristy, pulling out my subway map and redirecting my route.

I eventually made it to High St., and knew I was in the right area, since I could see the Brooklyn Bridge. But I couldn't find Old Fulton. So, I found a Brooklyn map on the street. Then I found where I was going.

So, just like that one time when Dia and I were lost in Downtown Tulsa and read a map to get back home, I channeled my father the truck driver, and used a map to find my way to pizza.

Because I'm amazing.

Then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel

(or across the Brooklyn Bridge).

Celebrity Sightings

Ok, no. I did not actually see these people. I only actually saw their look alikes. Levar was playing chess, Elmer was walking down the road, and Walter and Christian were riding the subway.

It was actually pretty awesome, because, how many other people can say that they saw Christian Bale on the subway? With a skeezy mullet?

Force Field

Let me let you in on a little secret: sometimes, riding the subway sucks.

It gets stuck on the tracks, 59th street station smells really funky, and people fight sometimes.

For the most part, though, it's the fact that, when I'm riding the subway, it is very crowded.

Because of rush hour and stuff.

This means that any personal space issues you may have get to go completely away. No more boundaries.

When you can smell the guy behind you's bubblegum and sweat, they are too close.

Are you understanding how close we are? It's a lot of touching.

I do have personal space issues, even though I've never actually been violated, I feel like I am a few times a week.

Let me ask you this question: when you are being touched on all sides, so much that you don't have to hold onto the pole,

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IT'S IMPORTANT TO BE MAKING OUT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?

Some of us are really uncomfortable with the amount of touching going on. That coupled with our discomfort with PDA, makes us mentally BEG you to get off at Grand Central. And 59th street. Then we run out on 86th. And we try to gauge our eyes out.

5 things I love about New York.

1. I love that the cops wear their hats. It makes them look totally legit.

2. I love that you can be completely independent of other people. You never have to hitch rides with other people. You just hop on a bus or a subway or a train, and ride to where you need to go.

3. I love that anything you need can be found on the street. Do you need ice cream? Because you can buy it on the street. Do you need the complete 3rd season of Seinfeld? You can buy it from a street vendor. Do you need a bagel? Or a sweatshirt? Or a bag of grapes? Or tomatoes? or anything else at all? All are available.

4. I love that you get to hear a free concert daily in the subway station. They may not always be good, but every once in a while, you come across one that is absolutely phenomenal.

5. I love that I get to go places that I've been seeing movies and pictures of for my entire life. Do you know how awe inspiring it is too see the Empire State Building? or the Chrysler Building? or the Statue of Liberty? Just amazing.