The milk chronicles

My dad doesn't drink milk plain.

He never has. His reasoning is "I was weaned once."

He drinks chocolate milk. He drinks hot chocolate. He puts milk in cereal. He eats all other kinds of dairy.

But, I have never, in all of my 23.5 years seen my dad sit down and drink a glass of white milk.

It's odd, I know, but lovable.

My mom, however, can't remember this fact. If we're ever eating something where milk is complementary, she asks my dad if he too would like a glass.

When he gives her his flabbergasted face and says "No," she always says "Oh, yeah. I forgot you're not a fan of milk."

sometimes you come home and realize you've had pen on your face for a while

and you don't really care.

The real question shouldn't be "is it the right length?" it should be "Carrie, do you know how to use a ruler?"

I subscribe to the school of thought (and may be the only subscriber) that there are two different kinds of rulers. (Not rulers of people or rulers of countries. But rulers that you measure with) Those with a void and those without. This is my word, void. Let me explain.

Some rulers start at the start of an inch, and some have a void before the inch starts. See?

So, today, when I was measuring paper and couldn't figure out why a quarter of an inch looked like so much more, it was not because I was stupid enough to not know what a quarter of an inch looked like. It was because I always forget how to use voided rulers.

Dang.

A couple of fancy texts for your enjoyment.

I received this one during Sacrament meeting. I almost cried, I was trying so hard not to laugh.

Sometimes, Jeannine and I are really cool

This one just made work so happy today.

So many of my texts are about psych. That's why they're glorious.

5 ways to run a 5k... and finish it

Starting off, if you haven't run consistently for 5 years and someone comes to you and asks if you want to do a 5k in a week, the answer should probably not be yes.

1. If you do decide to do it, though, there are several things that can make it easier. For one, get the right music. This is not the time to be showing off your amazing music sense. Nobody cares. This is the time to play the crap songs you pretend you don't listen to. Because, seriously, the club CANNOT even handle you right now.

2. Don't eat right before you go running. If you eat a granola bar, you will feel like throwing up. I speak form experience.

3. It's ok to yell at people in your head. Just not out loud. If you feel like you need to tell the 75 year-old power walker to BACK OFF. Go ahead. Just don't voice it.

4. You should have a goal. It doesn't have to be a big one. A good goal is to finish. That's a lofty goal. An attainable goal.

5. Lastly, you should have a cheerleader. Mine was a straw giraffe I named Stanley.

Every time I ran past him, he would shake his little straw neck and say "good job, Carrie!" and I would say "thghanksh Schtaghnlay huh huh huh." (I was running. Don't judge me).

What will they say Monday at school?

This is the best part. Seriously. I love Good 'ol Johnny's voice. And when he points to Heaven?

It's amazing.

I just have to imagine that the audience is sitting there thinking "dude, we're not going to be talking about Sandy leaving you at the drive in, but about how you're SINGING AT THE DRIVE IN!!!!"

Smiles

Today, I came home from work with this note written on my computer. Because my sister is awesome. And she loves me (you may not understand, but her death wish on me is actually a declaration of love).

Larry-
I wanted to tell you that I love you. And you’re probably the coolest person I know. And I wish I could have hung out with you more this trip; I had fun last night, even though we were watching the worst movie ever made... Also, I hope you get hit by a truck on your way home from work, and the only part of you that isn’t maimed is your butt. (I’m hilarious)
I love you and will talk to you later!
Herman

Serious Happiness

Guys, remember when I talked about the love that I found in an office supply company? Because, today, that love grew SO MUCH MORE!

Because, when I came home, this was waiting for me:

This is the top of the box. The UPS label is conveniently placed over the clipboard. It's beautiful, but it just gets better. Look at the sides!

And then, you open it. And this is what's waiting for you!:

Why thank you, Poppin. It's nice to meet you as well.

Thank you, and it's going quite well.

I will see you in the supply closet. Because I love you.

AND the receipt is in this:

And that's before you even get to what's INSIDE the package.

And there you have it. This is my love for a lovely office supply company. Cemented for life.