seasons change.

alright, so i live in a very TALL apartment building. and heat rises.
also, it is hot in Provo.
so, from logic, we can deduct that it is hot in my apartment.
very hot.

upon returning to my apartment and remembering this problem, i saw three options:
1. i could be constantly running the swamp cooler and pay 9 billion dollars a month for utilities.
2. i could stuff my bra with ice cubes like i did when i ran cross country.
3. i could buy a fan.
as i don't have 9 billion dollars and i have no desire to spend all of my time soaking wet with melted ice, i opted for the third.

so, i trucked my little self on over to the local wal mart.
i was going to buy a fan, and i was going to have it on ALL THE TIME!
i had happy little dreams of having it blow straight on me all night. and putting it in front of my head so i could pretend to be a model.
i was very excited.

i marched right over to the aisle where i assumed the fans would be.
in the fan aisle.
there are only ceiling fans in the fan aisle.

i found box fans, but they're 15 dollars, and i'm poor.

so, after meandering directionless-ly around wal mart, i decided to ask someone where they kept their fans.
this was another adventure, because even though there were 2 thousand people in wal mart that day (can you say incoming freshmen?) there were no workers
(think mitch in empire records "doesn't anybody work in this store?")
so, i finally found a woman unpacking boxes.

"hi, i have a question. where do you keep your smaller fans?" i asked, sweetly.
"oh, sweetheart, we don't have any more of those." she said in her hick accent (huh? wal mart doesn't have fans?), "they're seasonal items, and once we ran out they were all gone."

seasonal items. fans.
right.
you're walmart. you sell swim floaties in december and hot chocolate in july.
but fans? no. those are seasonal items.
obviously not needed in AUGUST!