Why my niece is cooler than yours

Mmmmkay. All of my nieces and nephew's are cooler than yours. Let's just say that right now. But, today, we're talking about Portia.

Yesterday, Portia broke her arm.

I know. You now all think that I'm a total jerk for not feeling super sorry for her. However, I do feel super sorry for her. I love that baby more than any other 2 year old in the whole wide world. She's a sweet baby sweet if I ever did see one. To see her in pain makes me want to cry.

However, my two year old niece now has more life experience than her 22 year old aunt.

I've never broken a bone.

She has also kissed more boys than I have.

Because she's good at flirting.

And she's such a pretty little thing.

She's basically my hero.

Did you know they're making another Planet of the Apes?

Because the first one wasn't bad enough?

Because there are actually people left in the world who didn't want to gouge their eyes out when the main character kissed the monkey? Instead of the blonde girl following him around?

Because the world really needs another movie about a planet full of apes?

The lies of romantic comedies

I really like romantic comedies. Believe me, I do. I watch them all the time.

Usually, romantic comedies have a really romantic scene in the end where the girl and the guy meet in a public place, like a street or a park or somewhere else. They tell each other how much they love each other. Then they have some eyelash melting kiss and a beautiful song plays and all's right in the world. We all have tears in our eyes and hope in our hearts that we will someday have that same wonderful moment.

Have you ever thought about the people walking past them in that public place, though? How awkward it probably is for them? Let me be the one to tell you right now, they feel really uncomfortable.

Let me 'splain (no, is too much, let me sum up) (there's not too much, I just really love that line)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop to go home. Because it's Saturday and I had just missed the bus, I was there for about 1/2 an hour. For that entire 30 minutes, there was a couple reenacting every romantic comedy ending. But, you know how in the movies the music comes in and the picture fades away? Before it gets too embarrassing for the audience? Yeah. They didn't do that. At one time, he bit her neck like a vampire. Creepy town.

There may have been tears in my eyes, but they weren't tears of happiness for the couple who finally got there lives together and are in love. They were tears about how much I wanted to be on the bus at that point.