onslaught.

Disclaimer #1: if you are/were/have an EFY kid, i still love them as individuals. my beef is with the pack.
Disclaimer #2: i never attended EFY, so i reserve the right to my own opinion.
Disclaimer #3: it's possible that i am jealous that they get to hang out and go to dances and not have class or work.

i attend byu. it is summertime. for those of you who don't know what this means, it means that all summer long, campus is under onslaught of 14 to 17 year old students at a nice little program called EFY.

for my job, i call byu alumni. as it is summer and efy is ongoing, i occasionally have conversations with people about that lovely program. the conversations are as follows. (the astrisized [*] words are what i'm actually thinking)

*************************************************

C: are you able to keep up to date
with what's going on at byu?

BYUA: yes, my son/daughter is
attending EFY there right now.

C: Oh! that's wonderful!
**Ugh! that's your kid?**

BYUA: yeah. he/she's having a
really great time.

C: that's great.
**i'm lying**
i never attended myself,
but everyone i know who went
really loved it.
**i'm glad i never went.
sometimes i wish i could kick them**

BYUA: yes, it's a really great
program

C: it really is.
**i judge everyone i see wearing a
lanyard.**

*************************************************

here's the deal.
EFY kids travel in packs. big packs. giggly, adolescent packs.
they clog up the line for food when you only have 15 minutes for lung. they scream with every burst of thunder. they ask stupid questions like, "is it still raining?" when you're in the middle of a downpoor.

i'm not digging on teenagers. i like teenagers. i was one. i went to youth conference. and girl's camp. and i was plenty annoying there. i remember. but i never attended efy. so i don't have a soft spot for it. i only have a soft spot for the days when it will be over.